Men in Black 3

 

 

Men in Black 3

This won't take long.

The first Men in Black film was a success. It was funny. It made adults - and children alike - laugh. It was a huge boost for Will Smith. The story was decent, and engrossing, and the action scenes were fun to watch, and kept you hooked.

Men in Black 3 is none of these things. A farcical storyline, which delves into the history of the J and K partnership, as well as terribly-designed villain, do nothing to support what is effectively a bare-bones, badly scripted and lazily executed cash-cow. And one particular reference to the Wall Street Crash of '29 effectively epitomises just how offensively shoddy the whole production is.

 

Avoid.

3/10

The Five-Year Engagement

The Five Year Engagement

As a preface to this review, I suspect that anyone who held the film Bridesmaids in such low regard, should probably close the tab now, as the film herein doesn't offer anything better. Amazingly the producers of that film also managed to get themselves involved with this particular farce.

When Tom (Jason Segel) proposes to his girlfriend Violet (Emily Blunt), they immediately find their wedding plans scuppered by the realisation that she must take time out in order to progress her career plans. However, as time moves on, the idea of commitment, long-distance difficulties and the appeal of a shoulder to cry on, all start to become too much in this romantic comedy.

With a lead male character like Segel (How I Met Your Mother, The Muppters, and a likeable, perky Brit in Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada, The Adjustment Bureau), it seems like a perfect premise. However, the film seemingly tries to make life as difficult for itself as is humanly possible. The nature of the film's structure, naturally, is to extend the story to a five-year length, bringing in obstacles which block the idea of a marriage taking place. At any cost, it seems.

What should be an amusing 90-minute comedy, turns into a two-hour struggle, as the writers seemingly throw all they can in the way of a barely-cohesive script, and as a result, manage to throw away any lingering hope the movie-goer has of ever enjoying what is basically an unfinished, unpolished mess.

The only redeeming feature is that Emily Blunt is involved, though even at two-hours long, there's almost too much of her in a badly written film for one sane person to handle.

3/10

When To Expect When You're Expecting

What To Expect When You're Expecting

From a barren Hollywood wasteland, left wanting and sparse by such hits as Knocked Up and The Hangover, comes a much-maligned comedy centred around the notion of couple-ship, moving in together, marriage and parenthood.

A cast featuring Elizabeth Banks, Cameron Diaz, Anna Kendrick and J-Lo is sure to appeal to many casual cinema-goers who would find something intriguing in each of those actresses, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially since the least familiar of those within Hollywood, Kendrick, starred in well-received hits 50/50 and Up in the Air, establishing herself as an attractive and likeable newcomer.

Whilst not necessarily the film's main problem, but something which raises more than a few eyebrows, is the male side of the cast. Chris Rock and Matthew Morisson (Glee) aside, the film doesn't really boast any household names to provide the film any sort of appeal to any on-looking (and reluctant) boyfriends. However, this is merely a drop in the ocean, compared to the film's actual problems.

The problem with this film is that it is immensely smug, doesn't really tackle any real issues, and instead tries to sugar-coat the serious issues of life, without actually passing them off in any way which even closely resembles comedy. The one breath of fresh air put in front of the audience mere moments from the end of the film, genuinely poses an actual question and puts forth the morbid and downright tragic ramifications that childbirth can trigger. Sadly, this moment is pretty much brushed over, and instantly loses any and all impact.

Which pretty much sums up the film. A shambles of a film, which does nothing but pretend to raise genuine issues, but does so in a way which nullifies its end objective, and instead makes you wonder why Hollywood bothers making these sorts of films.

3/10

Ils (Them)

Ils (Them)

There aren't many words needed for this review.

What is essentially inspiration for Eden Lake (reviewed earlier on this blog), Ils is about a Romanian couple who are tormented - physically and emotionally - within their own rural home, by a group of (seemingly) teenagers.

The film expertly employs lighting (both darks and and lights) to create intense and oppressive settings, as well as using cramped and claustrophobic environments to perfectly map the audience's viewing experience to that of the protagonist's physical endurance.

Whilst Eden Lake is a supremely more harrowing and visceral piece, Ils shows perfectly how to use minimalistic environments and techniques in order to produce a masterfully terrifying rollercoaster ride.

8/10

Into The Abyss

Into The Abyss is Werner Herzog's look at Texas' Death Row prison system, including Michael Perry, imprisoned and put to death for his alleged involvement in a mass-murder case.

The documentary follows Herzog as he attempts a Louis Theroux approach to questioning inmates about serious cases and genuinely life-ending acts they've committed (but they deny), all the time asking himself and professionals involved in the Death Row whether putting inmates to death for murder is indeed a worthy cause, or whether it's an entirely hypocritical act which goes against the philosophy and ethos of the entire criminal system.

However, whilst Into The Abyss seemed to be released to praise and positive reception, it never goes beyond the bounds of simply being 'interesting' and never quite challenges the Louis Theroux school of documentary filmmaking, a technique which involves subtle manipulation through the process of feigning ignorance and naivety towards the subject at hand. Instead, Herzog presents a rather condescending tone towards the inmates featured, and doesn't ever seem particularly interested in anything he talks about. Whether that's simply the language barrier and chosen tone of voice which affects this technique, but it never really works too well.

6/10

Religulous

Religulous

I don't need to say much about this one. Before I watched the film (which I've had lying around for a few years, actually) I thought this would be an insipid straight documentary about the origins of world-wide religion and how it's expanded through the ages.

It's nothing like that. Bill Maher is an atheist, or perhaps just an extreme Agnostic. His core belief is that Religion and Faith are hokey devices/notions which serve not credible or worthwhile purpose in today's society, nor really at any point in history.

Thus, Religulous is a 100-minute documentary based upon facets of Maher's life, explaining why he doesn't believe that any aspect of Religion bears any redeemable features whatsoever. Taking on various representatives of the religious world, he makes smarmy jibs and comedic observations, most of which are delivered with an acute tinge of Jewish brilliance that seems to encompass the stylings and mannerisms of Larry David and Richard Lewis, two fantastic observational comedians in their own right.

Whilst devout Christians (or indeed members of any religion) will take offence to effectively everything on offer in this film, for Atheists like me, it is more of a comedy than a serious documentary, and oddly enough, this was the hardest I've laughed at a film in (perhaps) years.

8/10

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, and the subversion of the Horror genre

The Rise of Leslie Vernon is an unusual horror film, perhaps one of a few of its kind. It begins with a pseudo news-report, detailing the murders committed by notorious horror film serial killers, such as Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers and Jason Vorhees, before re-aligning to a more central, modern day setting, as if to suggest that these murders were committed within a real-life universe.

This is not where the strangeness ends. The Rise of Leslie Vernon is a fly on the wall mockumentary, following serial killer (presumed dead) Leslie Vernon as he plots his latest mass killing spree, and gives first-hand insight to the documentary film crew who have given him the spotlight for an amateur film project of their own.

The rest of the film is a mixture of parody, farce and the genuinely bizarre. Whereas Scream tore the horror genre apart, and created what was essentially a horror-comedy hybrid, demonstrating the dos and don'ts of how to be a horror film character, Behind the Mask pulls it apart to an extra degree, pulling back one dimension of this spoof and instead going back in on itself. In the final third of the film, we are shown how the stereotypical characters in a horror film are meant to behave and react to certain life-threatening situations. However, by acknowledging those typical behaviour they're supposed to be replicating, they realise that they need to do the exact opposite in order to survive, given that the tired and predictable nature of the horror genre means the serial killer will know exactly how the potential victims will react, and vice versa.

It's an extremely baffling film, in that it flips the very idea of genre stereotypes on its head, and then flips it again, in an extremely obvious self-referential fashion. For what is in actual fact a rather bland film, it's an interesting glimpse into what is a very tired genre, and has been for decades, as exposed by Scream 4, a film which attempted to mock itself but instead ended up demonstrating just how out of touch even that was.